The State of the Union address is set this year to be epic on all fronts. It will be a “beautiful” display of President Trump’s continued attempts to convince Americans that everything is “tremendous” and that he is “winning.”

If you play along with some of us, it will also be a way to get very drunk.

Insofar as the actual speech goes, we all know by now that there are two Trumps when it comes to giving speeches. One who behaves and reads the words on the teleprompter verbatim (sort of, when he remembers HOW to read), and the other who flies by the seat of his pants and says whatever the hell he wants.

It’s anyone’s guess which version we will see tonight.

Take out the few goons as you make your way through the site. Note: Be sure to get the Vehicle Collectible on top of one of the offices/portacabins in this area. Soon you will start heading downwards again, and before long you will come upon a cover point overlooking an open area. Take cover and pick off the guards below. Once the area is clear, head to the next waypoint. Introduced in 1969 the Shell Oil Company's 'States of the Union' promotional coin contest built on the success of the previous year's 'Mr. President' coin game. The game as described on the outside of the game card folder shown below was a promotion where customers would receive a free 'coin' with each visit to their local Shell Service Station. State of the Union is an adult political strategy game where the stakes couldn’t be higher! Lead a conspiracy to overthrow a feminist leader and assume control over both allies, power blocs, political parties, and key institutions. Control and direct the nation’s most desirable women to do your bidding and further your cause!

What no one has to guess at, however, is what he will talk about. He will brag that everything is lovely, he will lie, he will attempt to throw his enemies under the bus, and he will say he is bigly better than any president alive or dead.

Oh, and it’s not too late! For the low low price of only 35 dollars, you can actually see your name flash across the screen during the speech. I wish I were kidding. Trump is selling screen time. His supporters will be able to see their name on their tee-vee screens “for as low as $35.”

If you have decided that you will watch the SOTU address tonight, there’s really only one way to get through the thing: Drinking. Luckily Rolling Stone published an official rules list for a game that is set to help you lube up enough to weather the storm of bullshit set to flash across your screen this night.

GET YOUR DRINK ON

Oh, if alcohol isn’t your drug of choice, DO NOT play this game… You will die. Otherwise, grab your bottles and hunker down, this is going to get interesting.

Take one drink every time Trump:

1. Every time Trump says “believe me,” or makes the claim that he is “the most (something good)” or the “least (something bad)”
2. Pulls out a line like, “some of my best friends are black” or in some other inane way attempts to deny being a racist. Drink twice if he does this then goes on to talk about building the wall.
3. “Talks priapismically about the Republican tax cut package, or hints at the great relationship he enjoys with the GOP leadership, causing a cutaway to a mortified Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell, as each struggles over whether or not to bite his glass cyanide capsule” (((I direct quoted that one because it’s too good)))
4. Mentions the tax plan and brags that Apple, WalMart, or Exxon is supposedly “investing in America” using their surplus from the tax cut. (All while laying off thousands of employees)
5. Uses that “pinchy hands” gesture, up to a maximum of three times (with his hands, not the butthole gesture with his mouth)
6. Sniffles, as we all know that it is ski season (Maximum of 3, so you don’t die)
7. Brags excessively about Milania in an attempt to ease her anger at him after the Stormy Daniels payoff. Rolling Stone called it a “Kobe special.”
8. Says anything is “tremendous.” Drink twice if said thing was, in fact, NOT tremendous, like the tax bill or his first year in office.
9. Causes any lawmaker to walk out in the middle of the address
10. Makes a threat, veiled or otherwise, to North Korea.
11. Brings up the 702 Surveillance Reauthorization. Drink two times if you see members of both parties cheering for that one.
12. “Mentions Jay-Z, Meryl Streep, Michael Wolff, Steve Bannon, “Fake News” CNN or Dianne Feinstein. Double shot for “FBI lovers” Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, “Dicky” Durbin, “Cryin'” Chuck Schumer, or “Crazy” Jim Acosta.”
13. Talks about a “witch hunt.” If he mentions collusion grab a pal and hug it out after you take your drink.
14. Mispronounces “Nazarbayev” or some other similarly difficult name. Take a double shot if he mispronounces Davos or attempts to convince everyone that the Swiss adored him.
15. Alludes to any historical figure like Dr. King or Lincoln or any other dead person that would be horrified to be admired by the Orange.

And there you have it, folks. The official game rules for Drinking Your way Through the Shitshow that is Trump.

Please, drink responsibly, and if you can’t make sure you fall asleep on your left side.

Via con Dios.

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Chain Migration

Another term for “family migration.”. A system of visas that allow U.S. citizens and legal permanent residents to petition the government to allow their close relatives to immigrate to the United States. U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents may sponsor their foreign relatives for green cards.

Illegal Immigration

Illegal immigration is the illegal entry of a person or a group of persons across a country's border, in a way that violates the immigration laws of the destination country, with the intention to remain in the country.

Amnesty

A policy protecting illegal immigrants from deportation.

Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA Program)

Children who were born outside America by illegal citizens are allowed to stay in our country without going through the legal immigration process.

In 2016, only 7% of DACA applicants were denied.

Diversity Visa Lottery Program

Makes up to 50,000 immigrant visas available annually, drawn from random selection among all entries to individuals who are from countries with low rates of immigration to the United States.

Nuclear Iran Deal

Iran and six world powers known as the P5+1 (China, France, Germany, Russia, the United Kingdom, and the United States) reached a historic nuclear deal that was suppose to limit Iran's nuclear program and enhanced monitoring in exchange for relief from nuclear sanctions.

Nuclear Iran Deal is supposed to shut off Iran's pathway to a nuclear bomb for the next 10 years.

REQUIREMENTS:

State Of The Union Cheat Games

Eliminate its stockpile of medium-enriched uranium, cut its stockpile of low-enriched uranium by 98%, and reduce by about two-thirds the number of its gas centrifuges for 13 years.
They also claimed they would only enrich uranium up to 3.67% and that they wouldn't build any new heavy-water facilities for the same period of time.
Iran would limit their Uranium-enrichment activities to a single facility using first-generation centrifuges for 10 years.

Within a year, Iran violated the deal.

To this day, Iran continues to violate the terms of the deal by continuing to test ballistic missiles. On top of their continuing to violate the terms of the deal, Iran rejected Trump's request to inspect their military sites to make sure they were not concealing activities banned by the 2015 nuclear deal.

North Korea

State Of The Union Cheat Gameshark

North Korea, known officially as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), is a small country sandwiched between China and South Korea in Northeast Asia. It is home to an estimated 25 million people, nearly 3 million of whom live in the capital city of Pyongyang.

North Korea has the hydrogen bomb and is actively threatening the United States and our allies with nuclear war. It’s important our leaders continue to stand up to North Korea and stifle their nuclear growth to protect our country.

Southern Border Wall

State Of The Union Cheat Game Online

President Trump has promised to build a wall that protects the Southern Border of the United States. The wall would stretch from California to Texas, protecting the the border between Mexico and America. The Southern Border Wall was a campaign promise from President Trump.